Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Insert Well-known Idiom Here

-54 BC- Cesar was stuck in Gaul and couldn't return home because he would be prosecuted for his white-collar crimes.
   -Therefore, Caesar was declared an enemy of the state.
-Marc Antony (Marcus Antonius)- a notorious ladies' man and party animal, was elected tribune and fled to Caesar as a supporter.
   -Also served in the Roman legions in Syria and was a personal friend of Caesar's.
-Caesar then decided to lead his troops across the Rubicon River.  -"The die is cast!"
   -Only had 1 legion.
   -Rome freaked out, called on Pompey to save them with his forces in Hispania.  Pompey instead proposed to evacuate Rome, flee to Brundisium, and then sail to Greece and fight from there.
-Caesar then marched south to Rome, where he met little resistance.
   -Pompey and the Senate fled to Brundisium, sailing away before Caesar could catch them.
-Caesar then marched into Rome in 49 BC.  He met no resistance, but everyone knew that Caesar had committed treason, so his rule wasn't considered legit.
   -Caesar also had to raid the treasury to pay his troops, which pissed everyone off.
-Caesar then marched his troops off to go fight Pompey's troops in Hispania before he could properly mobilize them.
   -Caesar met a strong resistance from Pompey's army, but he was able to secure an alliance with the Celtiberian hordes in exchange to ease their burden of servitude for initially resisting Roman rule in the first place.
   -Finally, Pompey's forces surrendered to Caesar.  They were jealous of Caesar's relationship with his his men, in addition to their glory and wealth.
      -Many of them flocked to Caesar's army instead!
-Caesar then marched back to Italy.
   -As dictator, Caesar tried to quickly address Rome's economic problems (as opposed to getting revenge on his political enemies).
      -Caesar then resigned as dictator and appointed himself consul.
-Caesar then went off to Epirus with his legions to go crush Pompey and the Senate!

Meanwhile, Back in Rome...

-Rome was still in turmoil due to its struggle between populists and conservatives.
-A politician named Clodius got into power as tribune.
   -Die-hard populist, wanted to drive conservative Cicero out of Rome.
-58 BC- Cicero left Rome to Macedonia, contemplated suicide.
-Clodius then decided to take on Cato the Younger.
   -Worked hard to get Cyprus stripped of its status as a sovereign tributary state, annexed it into the empire, and then had Cato go govern it.
      -Cato didn't know what to do, as he had to go but really didn't want to leave Rome at this crucial time.
-Clodius then tried to pass a law that would give free grain to poor people- would have benefited about 200,000 people in Rome.
-There was soon a move to bring Cicero back to Rome.
   -Cicero returned in 57 BC, but found that his lands had been seized by the state and his estates had been demolished.
-Pompey was chilling in Hispania, but Crassus had been dreaming of more glory while governing Syria, so he had raised 7 legions (35,000-45,000 troops) in order to invade the Parthian Empire, including 1000 Gallic cavalry.
   -Armenia pledged an additional 50,000 troops on the condition that Crassus would march through Armenia to "pick up" the army on his way to the Parthian Empire, but Crassus stupidly turned this down because he was in such a hurry to get the invasion going.
   -Crassus landed in modern-day Syria and found the natives there Helenized and friendly.  They were, however, secretly working for the Parthians.  The natives led the Romans into the desert, where the Parthians had prepared to crush them with 10,000 cavalry.
      -The Parthians also sent a force to Armenia for conspiring against their mighty empire!
-Crassus' army wandered in the desert for days, until they arrived at the city of Carrhae (also known as Harran, near modern-day Altınbaşak, Turkey).
   -The cavalry finally showed and attacked!  This was a famous battle because it introduced the "Parthian shot" ("parting shot") to the West.
      -Crassus' army was absolutely smashed!  They were forced to retreat, but kept on getting lost as they were chased by the Parthians.
         -Crassus was finally killed by the Parthians during peace negotiations.  Crassus' son was also killed.
      -Only 10,000 Roman troops returned back to the empire, and this was a huge source of shame for Rome, second only to their huge defeat at Cannae.
-The Triumvirate was no more!  Crassus was dead, Pompey's wife (Caesar's daughter) was dead.
   -Therefore, the tie between Pompey and Caesar was severed, especially when Pompey rejected Caesar's niece, Octavia (sister of Augustus), as a replacement, and instead chose the daughter of one of his political enemies.
-End of 53 BC- a fight broke out between Clodius and his rival, Milo.
   -Clodius was killed, and Caesar was now deprived of a key ally.
      -A huge riot broke out, and Clodius' supporters set fire to the Senate House!
-The Senate then reached out to Pompey to take control of the situation.
   -The Senate then pressured Pompey to take a hard line stance against Caesar, who was still technically waiting to be charged for crimes in Rome.

The Gallic Wars

-58 BC- Caesar is governor in Gaul now.
-Besides Cisalpine and Trasalpine Gaul, non-Roman Gaul was packed full of savage barbarian hordes.
   -Around this time, a huge migration of Gauls were moving into the Roman Gallic lands due to being pushed out of their own territories by Germanic hordes.
      -These Gauls were the Helvetii tribe (numbering anywhere from 100,000-350,000).
         -They wanted to pass through Roman lands, but Caesar wouldn't let them and walled off the entrances they wanted to pass through.  He was also looking for an excuse to agitate them in order to invade their lands.
            -Thus, the Helvetii attacked, but couldn't break through Caesar's defenses.
-Caesar then raised an army to attack the Helvetii.
   -When a rival Gallic horde asked for Roman help to crush the Helvetii, the Romans agreed and attacked!  They then began to systematically destroy the Helvetii army.
      -After they were crushed completely, Caesar showed mercy and allowed the Helvetii to return north to set up a buffer region between Rome and the advancing Germanic hordes.
-After this, various Gallic tribes began to fight each other and asked for Roman help to vanquish their enemies.
   -The Germans also began to cross into Gaul, so the Romans sent envoys telling them to back off.  Caesar then marched his men to go fight the encroaching German hordes.
      -The Germans during this time were fighting with the Suebi and other Gallic tribes, and were united under a leader named Ariovistus.
         -Caesar, however, was able to crush the Germans and drive them back.
-It was now obvious that the Romans were here to stay in Gaul.
   -Caesar began to dig into the occupied territory by constructing wooden forts.
      -He also began to make alliances with various tribes and played them against each other.
-57- Belgian Gallic hordes formed a confederation to attack Rome.
   -Caesar was still able to secure an alliance with one of these Belgian tribes, however, so when this Roman-allied tribe was attacked by the others for selling out to Rome, Caesar used this as an excuse to invade.
      -A huge barbarian horde formed to fight off the Romans, and Caesar knew he wouldn't be able to beat them, so he instead spread out his army to attack the different individual settlements of each tribe.
         -This caused the horde to dissolve because they went back to protect their own respective homes from invading Roman legions.
-Winter, 57 BC- Caesar had conquered almost all of Gaul!
   -He returned to Cisalpine Gaul to attend to governmental affairs there, and met with Pompey and Crassus., who were to be co-consuls again.
      -Caesar was to be pro-consul of Gaul, and Pompey was to be pro-consul of Hispania, with Crassus governing Syria.
-Meanwhile, a Gallic tribe (the Veneti) in Brittany began to resist Roman rule, so Caesar invaded them and crushed them.
   -Had to build a navy to do this since the Veneti were a seafaring people with a strong navy.
-Caesar then began to look to Brittania to invade since the barbarians there had aided the Veneti in their resistance.
   -Also wanted to do this for political reasons, as it would look amazing for him if he was to expand the Roman Empire to what they considered to be "the ends of the earth!"
-55 BC- German hordes began to invade Gaul.
   -Caesar decided to march into Germania and strike back!
      -He quickly built a huge bridge across the Rhine River.  The Germans panicked and fled back into the forest.  Satisfied, the Roman legions returned back across the Rhine.
-Caesar then sent a small fleet to scout Britannia.
   -They landed on a beach, but were surrounded by British hordes- then a storm destroyed their fleet.
      -They were pretty fucked.  Caesar quickly repaired what ships he could and fled back to Gaul.
-Caesar then planned a full invasion, and landed with 800 ships this time!
   -Was met with a fierce guerrilla resistance.
      -Caesar found their leader and crushed him and his forces and then left a puppet ruler to rule the region in Britannia conquered by Rome.
-Caesar then returned to Gaul, but found that back in Rome his daughter had died while giving birth.
   -Uh-oh...she had been married to Pompey!
-Meanwhile, the Gauls were rising up in rebellion against the Romans.
-53 BC- Caesar brought a huge army into northeast Gaul, slaughtered their hordes, and sold their women and children into slavery.
   -Caesar then offered his grand-niece, Octavia (sister of Augustus), to Pompey for marriage.
      -Pompey declined and married a daughter of one of Caesar's rivals.  Uh-oh...
      -Crassus then died invading the Parthian Empire.
         -The Triumvirate was dead.
-52 BC- Rome fought its final wars against the Gauls.
   -It was a brutal fight against almost all of the Gallic hordes united under a dude named Vercingetorix, in one final desperate resistance.
      -Finally ended with the siege of Alesia.
         -The Gauls were completely conquered.

Monday, January 9, 2017

In the Consulship of Julius and Caesar

-Consulship elections were always a huge mess of bribery and corruption.
   -Caesar sought the support of 3 dudes:
      -Crassus- super-wealthy and already an ally.
      -Pompey- great military leader, but rival of Crassus.
      -Cicero- Rome's greatest orator and lawyer.
-Eventually, this led to the First Triumvirate: Caesar, Pompey, and Crassus.
-Caesar also sought a new wife- his ex-wife, Pompeia, was suspected of having an affair (even though Caesar was notorious for cheating all the time).
-One huge problem at this time also was Rome's huge poor people problem.
   -The rich patrician landowners just imported slaves to work their lands, so the common folk who normally farmed had no choice but to come to the cities to try and find work.
      -Caesar tried to remedy this problem by passing a bill allowing state-owned land to be opened up to the public to settle, and state funds would be used to purchase land from the sellers- this would be paid for with all the money Pompey brought in from the East.
          -However, Campania was exempt...Caesar did this to make a lot of the senators happy since that was where a lot of them lived.  However, the Senate still tried to block this bill because they were assholes and wanted to also prevent Caesar from becoming even more popular than he was already.
-Caesar told the Senate that he was going to pass bills via the People's Assembly if they weren't going to play ball, and that he also had the backing of Pompey and Crassus.
   -Caesar's co-consul told the Senate that he would do his best to block Caesar- however, he was assaulted by an angry mob and after that refused to leave his house.
-Caesar then announced that his land bill would now include Campania :D
-Caesar also passed legislation allowing Pompey to start annexing land in the East.
-Caesar then offered Pompey his daughter in marriage.
-Caesar then passed the Lex Julia- a huge bill written to combat corruption and extortion among government administrators.
   -This law would last until the Byzantine Empire!
-Meanwhile, Cicero began to break away from Caesar and oppose him.  He didn't like Caesar's strong-arm tactics and disregard for tradition.
-Caesar knew that once he was finished being consul and was back to private citizenship, he was fucked- so he just decided to continue his political career in the military!  Time go and conquer some shit!
   -Couldn't attack Egypt because they were a tributary state of Rome, and he didn't want to interrupt the money flow.
   -Didn't want to attack the East because Pompey was already attacking there (and the Parthians were also too tough).
   -Decided to attack the Gauls!  He was elected pro-consul of both Cisalpine and Transalpine Gaul.
      -He just needed an excuse... he realized that the German and Celtic hordes were fighting each other, and that Celts had begun to flee and settle in Roman Gaul, which worked directly in his favor in terms of looking for a reason to attack.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

The Young Julius Caesar Chronicles

-Julius Caesar came from a patrician family, but they had recently fallen on hard times.
   -Grew up far from the Palatine Hill where all the fat cats of Rome lived.
      -Therefore, as a politician, Caesar identified with the common folk due to his roots.
         -Also, he had familial connections with Marius, as his aunt, Julia, had been his wife (and was very well-respected by the Roman people).
-Caesar's father died suddenly when he was 16, so as the oldest male of his household he was considered the head of the family.
   -Due to his family being close with Marius, when Marius and Cinna were running the city he attained the office of the high priest of Jupiter.
      -He was also wed to Cinna's daughter, Cornelia.  However, when Sulla took over the city he was forced to flee.
         -Eventually however, Sulla chilled out and allowed for Caesar to return to Rome.
-80 BC- nervous that Sulla would change his mind, Caesar went into the military, and eventually went to work for the praetor/propraetor of Asia, Marcus Minucius Thermus.
   -After some time he went on to Rhodes, where he was educated in the Greek art of rhetoric by Aulus Licinius Archias, a Greek poet.
      -On his way back to Rome he was kidnapped by pirates for ransom.  Later, after he was freed, he went back, captured all of them, and had them crucified.
-73 BC- when he returned to Rome he became a high priest again, but was soon elected military tribune.
-69 BC- elected qaestor in Hispania and was really loved by everyone.
   -He was stern, fair, just, gave everyone an equal opportunity, was a populist, but he also made sure to not alienate the rich as well.
      -Also traveled along the Mediterranean in Gaul as well, gaining support from the common folk living under Roman rule there.
-Continued to move up the political ranks, and along the way borrowed lots of money to fund a wide variety of public works projects- festivals, games, etc.
   -Also gained the attention of Crassus, who soon became his ally.
-63 BC- ran for the office of Pontifex Maximus (high priest of Rome).
   -Soon ran for praetor.
   -During this time he also recognized the need for additional powerful friends (besides just Crassus), so he befriended Pompey and promised to support his wars in exchange for a political alliance.
-Caesar was then named as proconsular governor of the province of Hispania Ulterior (southern Spain).
   -Still needed to do something about his mounting debts, so he picked a fight with some local barbarian tribes (the Gallaeci and Lusitani) to unlock their silver mines, and also had help from Crassus concerning money.
-The Senate was now terrified of Caesar returning and possibly getting the consulship because he was wildly popular with the masses and had powerful friends (not to mention being a big ol' liberal!).
   -Cato the Younger, a conservative champion of the Senate and the status quo, proposed to delay Caesar's candidacy.
      -Did a bunch of filibustering and shit to try and prevent Caesar from entering the city.
         -Of course, this didn't work, and Caesar was elected consul in 59 BC.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

The Catiline Chronicles

-Lucius Sergius Catilina (Catiline) - born in 108 BC to an old patrician family.
   -Got into politics, worked overseas.
   -Got accused of banging a vestal virgin and abusing his power in Africa, and was possibly a shitty dude, but this is unclear.
   -Hated by Cicero, one of his political rivals.
-Marcus Tullius Cicero- a "novus homo", obsessed with philosophy.  From Arpinum, 100 km southeast of Rome.
   -Very conservative and staunch defender of the Senate as the main component of the Roman Republic.
   -Main dude behind introducing Greek philosophy into the Roman cultural consciousness.
      -Before this, Romans weren't very creative or innovative, and were only good at assimilation, adopting culture from others, and war.
-Catiline got into politics, but eventually lost power and was pissed off.  
   -In an earlier age, he probably would have just gotten over it and moved on, but because of the current political climate (the wars between Marius and Sulla, for example), Catiline decided to take power himself!
   -Began to conspire with other senators to overthrow the government.
      -This wasn't an ideological revolution, Catiline just wanted to be in power.
-Cicero found out about the plot and foiled it.
   -However, it's possible that he exaggerated it OR even just made it all up!  Maybe Cicero even wanted more power himself as well, especially since Pompey was returning to Rome, carrying with him much prestige, wealth, and power.
-Catiline was to be exiled, but he quickly fled to Etruria where one of his co-conspirators was secretly building an army to overthrow the Roman government.
   -They tried to enlist the help of some Gauls, but the Senate found out about this.  They were busted!
      -Cicero and Cato the Younger (tribune at the time) wanted Catiline and his cohorts to be executed, but Julius Caesar argued for them to just be exiled instead.
-Cicero won the argument, and the conspirators were sentenced to death.
   -Catiline and the conspirators tried to keep their army together, but there were mass desertions once they knew the game was up.
      -The conspirators and their army were soon on the run.
         -Finally caught by the legions and slaughtered.